I can’t seem to get over that line.

“In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields, and lovely flowers, and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line. But, I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.”  

 “That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s,” she said. “And let me tell you something, the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You can not win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”

 – Viola Davis wins 2015 Emmy for Outanding Drama Actress

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When I read this quote, it reminded me of a concept called race related trauma. I experienced this term in researching the sources of depression in people of color back in the early 2000s.  It’s a little like the “I can’t breathe” mantra that was prevalent after the murder of Eric Garner by choke hold at the hands of an NYPD officer.  For generations, women of color (and others) have been striving to cross a line that seems visible yet is no less impossible. In fact I would argue that this is primarily WHY race related trauma is so insidious.  We feel we SHOULD be able to cross the line.  Hell, it’s been over 200 years since Harriet Tubman uttered these words.  Our country is in a dream that suggests  ‘Post-racial America” is evenly and fairly distributed.  We get what we earn, and if you are poor, it is because you deserve it.  If your accomplishments are not recognized, then perhaps you should work harder. Yet, black women across the globe are the hardest working of all humanity.  Despite generations of sowing and harvesting, they were left with little to feed their own families after making sure everyone else’s babies were full.  So now, we must ask ourselves, what is the line that we are struggling to cross? What is the opportunity that seems nearly impossible to grasp? What losses are we grieving?  Depression is made more powerful by the silence it evokes.  Tell your story. Write your story. Be bold. Erase the Line.

Why start a blog about self care?

About 9 years ago, I started a company called Pursue Higher Dreams Coaching.  The goal of this was to 1) make money to feed my family and 2) to serve a need that I saw in my community to provide affordable academic coaching around standardized testing to middle class families.  Since then, I have learned a few things about myself, about business and served over 200 teens in the process.  While there is still a great need for individual and small group coaching, a bigger need in my community seems to be to learn how to love and care for ourselves: mind, body and spirit.  The #blacklivesmatter movement coupled with the death of #SandraBland (not to mention countless others) has  helped me to see the temporal nature of our existence on this planet.  If we are to live, we must create a space for ourselves to truly flourish regardless of who or what would rather we did not!

One my goals in this process of blogging is to share with you my own struggles and victories over the stressors of a busy family and professional life.  Secondly, this blog is place where I will share resources and articles that will educate and inspire readers to push themselves to take better care of themselves. Lastly, I hope to create a conversation that leads us to critique and change the systems that oppress us individually and collectively.

And even if we fail, I trust that we will feel better for having tried; after all, that’s was visionary care is all about.  As you pursue the vision that you have, I am further convicted to pursue my own dreams and goals.  The beloved and late Maya Angelou said it best: “When you know better, you do better.” So, let’s get to it!